It is very difficult for any parent to admit that their child is grown up when they reach 18. It happened to us when our daughter came home one day and said that she would like to marry the boy she had met whilst she was at school.

It came as a big surprise as she had never introduced the boy into our home. She had not mentioned that she was having a serious relationship with someone.

As you can imagine it took a few minutes before we recovered from the initial shock. Then we asked her to sit down and tell us everything about him. We wanted to know his name? Who his parents were? Where did they come from? Was he an Indian! Where does he live? What education he has had? What job is he doing? What does he look like? Etc.

These questions are to establish the identity of the person your daughter is planning to bring into the lives of all members of your family. It also gives you an opportunity to establish whether the right decision is being made to allow these two people to join in matrimony.

As parents we should always be seeking happiness for our children. Thus it is essential to guide them in the right direction at all times. This can only be achieved if you have regular communications with your child from a very young age. If the foundations are strong then it is very difficult to see the child drifting away from the directions you have directly or indirectly programmed into their mind.

Since the day they are born, the child is under your umbrella up to the age when they become independent and are able to distinguish for themselves what is right and what is wrong. Thus you have to start treating them as friends to bridge the generation gap by listening to them and allowing them to air their views before giving your own opinion. You should not be seen to be making decisions for them, although you can always gently persuade them to!

Marriage is not a union of two people. It is a union of two families - two communities. Two people can live together without getting married but to live in a society and be welcomed by both families, it is customary for them to receive the blessings of their elders.

The decision to get married should never be taken lightly. It is the most important step in one’s life. A successful marriage is where there is an element of ‘Give and Take’ from both sides, complete trust between each other and finally undivided and unconditional love for each other.